I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year’s Day (or New Year’s Eve, as the case may be). I thought about doing an e-mail about New Year’s Resolutions, but I kept coming up with the same old tired stuff everyone already knows. Don’t make too many resolutions, and burn yourself out. Break big goals down to bite-sized, manageable pieces. Make your goals specific, and measurable. Determine ahead of time that it will be difficult at times, and that you are willing to see it through. Have a plan in place for overcoming your toughest temptations. Buddy up with a friend, and hold each other accountable. Write or draw your goals as if they have already happened, and post them in locations where you will see them for constant reminders. Continually visualize your desired results as if they have already happened.
Then I thought about resolutions myself, and, as it turns out, I already had short term and long term goals in most areas of my life, and doing New Year’s Resolutions seemed kind of redundant. So, what I ended up deciding was to focus on something for the New Year… I am going to FOF (Focus On Fixing), aka stop complaining, and FOF that which I formerly complained about! That being said, if any of you catch me complaining in 2008, please give me some encouragement (accountability)! Anyhow, rather than talking about resolutions, I am going to FOF with my first ‘newsletter’ of 2008.
Let me start with a story… This guy takes his lunch to work every day. On Monday, he opens his lunch box and finds a bologna sandwich and a pickle. He whines and complains to his coworkers about what a lousy lunch he has. On Tuesday, he opens his lunch box to a bologna sandwich and a pickle again. Again he whines and complains to his coworkers, saying he doesn’t care for bologna sandwiches or pickles. On Wednesday, the same routine repeats, and again on Thursday. On Friday, he opens his lunch box, and has a bologna sandwich and a pickle, again. He whines, complains, pounds his fist on the table and says he is sick and tired of bologna sandwiches and pickles, and he lets go of a few choice words. This time, a coworker that watched the same tired routine all week long, asks him, “Why don’t you tell your wife you don’t like bologna sandwiches and pickles for lunch, and ask her to fix you something different? The guy responds, “Wife? What wife? I’m not married. I make my own lunch.”
The point of the story is we can only truly succeed in life when we take responsibility for our own results. Whatever our lives are today is largely the result of the decisions we have made and the actions we have taken (or not taken) in the past. Further, we need to realize that, no matter what hardships come our way, we choose whether to let them beat us down, or whether to settle for mediocrity, or whether to rise up and overcome them so we can push on and make all of our dreams come true! Way too many people in this world spend most of their time and energy complaining, and never stop to appreciate the fact that they created most of the results they are complaining about. Hmmmmm….
My personal example… I grew up poor, and spent many years complaining that a poor person could never succeed financially in life. I could spend hours on end saying how unfair it was that wealth only came to the lucky; those who were born into it… or maybe to a few fortunate lottery winners or professional athletes or star actors/actresses, etc. I really knew how to whine and complain about how unfair life was to someone like me. Furthermore, I had friends and family that were great at commiserating with me. We could tell stories about our problems, try to outdo each other with the size of our problems, and exaggerate how bad things were more and more every time we told them. Ever do that yourself?
As long as that was my approach, I would never do any better financially than I was doing at that time. A tale for another time, but, fortunately, I read a few good books, starting with “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki, and I got up the nerve to talk to a few people (a coworker and the guy who was my landlord at the time come to mind) who had succeeded in real estate, starting from nothing and building from the ground up, and I discovered that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong about wealth. Needless to say, I have since discovered that I was completely wrong. I was fixing myself bologna sandwiches and pickles, and then complaining every day about what I had in my lunch box.
Here comes my old adage – what you focus on expands. If you focus on complaining, you get more to complain about. If you focus on crap, you get more crap. I think it was T. Harv Eker who said if you complain enough, you become a giant crap magnet. I believe it, because it was true in my life.
Still applies to me today, in fact… I just found myself complaining the other day about how my wife is impossible to get along with. Then I thought back to a discovery I made not too long ago. The more I blamed my wife for being hard to get along with, the harder she was to get along with. However, a Bible Study class about marriage taught me the following, which I then proceeded to prove true. They said when I stopped complaining and blaming my wife for our disagreements, and started doing everything I could to make my wife happier and my marriage better, she would respond in kind. Bible study theorized, correctly, that when innately good, Godly people are treated great, they have no choice but to respond in kind. Someone like my wife MUST, by definition, respond in kind. I purposely treated my wife like a queen for several weeks, and my wife and I were both amazed at how well we seemed to get along. She was treating me like a king! Then, I got lazy, and slipped back into old habits of mediocrity. Now, it is time for me to stop complaining about bologna sandwiches and pickles in my marriage, and to start making myself better lunches again. It will work again, the same as it did before, if I just follow through and do it. My wife MUST respond to my kindness with kindness, by definition of who she is as a person. It is a thing of beauty. Don’t believe me? Take it for a test spin in your life, and see if treating good people well isn’t repaid in kind…
Back to the point of my story… almost all of us have an area or areas in our lives that we complain about. Do you have anything in your life that you complain about routinely? Is there a chance that you can find ways to improve that area of your life instead of complaining about it? It doesn’t matter if its finances, or relationships, or medical problems, or a bologna sandwich and a pickle in your lunch box every day, if you find yourself complaining about something, stop, and seek out ways to Focus On Fixing instead of complaining, and see if it doesn’t change your life for the better.
Best wishes, and I hope you all have less to complain about, more to be happy about, and a great year in 2008!!!
To be added to or removed from my e-mail list, respond to:
Chris Lund at reinvestorsfl@aol.com and let me know your wishes.
One of my goals for 2008 is to increase my readership. If you like receiving ‘The Lund Letters’, and you know someone else that might enjoy them, just have them drop me their e-mail address and I will add them to my list. I promise to never sell contact information, and readers can be removed from the list on request at any time. Thank you!
P.S. – I am not sure how long it will last, but attached below is a URL on ‘Making A Difference’. It is neat, and touching, and I thought you might enjoy it. If you can’t click into it, then it might work to cut and paste it into your browser.
http://tinyurl.com/2zesmp
Let me start with a story… This guy takes his lunch to work every day. On Monday, he opens his lunch box and finds a bologna sandwich and a pickle. He whines and complains to his coworkers about what a lousy lunch he has. On Tuesday, he opens his lunch box to a bologna sandwich and a pickle again. Again he whines and complains to his coworkers, saying he doesn’t care for bologna sandwiches or pickles. On Wednesday, the same routine repeats, and again on Thursday. On Friday, he opens his lunch box, and has a bologna sandwich and a pickle, again. He whines, complains, pounds his fist on the table and says he is sick and tired of bologna sandwiches and pickles, and he lets go of a few choice words. This time, a coworker that watched the same tired routine all week long, asks him, “Why don’t you tell your wife you don’t like bologna sandwiches and pickles for lunch, and ask her to fix you something different? The guy responds, “Wife? What wife? I’m not married. I make my own lunch.”
The point of the story is we can only truly succeed in life when we take responsibility for our own results. Whatever our lives are today is largely the result of the decisions we have made and the actions we have taken (or not taken) in the past. Further, we need to realize that, no matter what hardships come our way, we choose whether to let them beat us down, or whether to settle for mediocrity, or whether to rise up and overcome them so we can push on and make all of our dreams come true! Way too many people in this world spend most of their time and energy complaining, and never stop to appreciate the fact that they created most of the results they are complaining about. Hmmmmm….
My personal example… I grew up poor, and spent many years complaining that a poor person could never succeed financially in life. I could spend hours on end saying how unfair it was that wealth only came to the lucky; those who were born into it… or maybe to a few fortunate lottery winners or professional athletes or star actors/actresses, etc. I really knew how to whine and complain about how unfair life was to someone like me. Furthermore, I had friends and family that were great at commiserating with me. We could tell stories about our problems, try to outdo each other with the size of our problems, and exaggerate how bad things were more and more every time we told them. Ever do that yourself?
As long as that was my approach, I would never do any better financially than I was doing at that time. A tale for another time, but, fortunately, I read a few good books, starting with “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki, and I got up the nerve to talk to a few people (a coworker and the guy who was my landlord at the time come to mind) who had succeeded in real estate, starting from nothing and building from the ground up, and I discovered that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong about wealth. Needless to say, I have since discovered that I was completely wrong. I was fixing myself bologna sandwiches and pickles, and then complaining every day about what I had in my lunch box.
Here comes my old adage – what you focus on expands. If you focus on complaining, you get more to complain about. If you focus on crap, you get more crap. I think it was T. Harv Eker who said if you complain enough, you become a giant crap magnet. I believe it, because it was true in my life.
Still applies to me today, in fact… I just found myself complaining the other day about how my wife is impossible to get along with. Then I thought back to a discovery I made not too long ago. The more I blamed my wife for being hard to get along with, the harder she was to get along with. However, a Bible Study class about marriage taught me the following, which I then proceeded to prove true. They said when I stopped complaining and blaming my wife for our disagreements, and started doing everything I could to make my wife happier and my marriage better, she would respond in kind. Bible study theorized, correctly, that when innately good, Godly people are treated great, they have no choice but to respond in kind. Someone like my wife MUST, by definition, respond in kind. I purposely treated my wife like a queen for several weeks, and my wife and I were both amazed at how well we seemed to get along. She was treating me like a king! Then, I got lazy, and slipped back into old habits of mediocrity. Now, it is time for me to stop complaining about bologna sandwiches and pickles in my marriage, and to start making myself better lunches again. It will work again, the same as it did before, if I just follow through and do it. My wife MUST respond to my kindness with kindness, by definition of who she is as a person. It is a thing of beauty. Don’t believe me? Take it for a test spin in your life, and see if treating good people well isn’t repaid in kind…
Back to the point of my story… almost all of us have an area or areas in our lives that we complain about. Do you have anything in your life that you complain about routinely? Is there a chance that you can find ways to improve that area of your life instead of complaining about it? It doesn’t matter if its finances, or relationships, or medical problems, or a bologna sandwich and a pickle in your lunch box every day, if you find yourself complaining about something, stop, and seek out ways to Focus On Fixing instead of complaining, and see if it doesn’t change your life for the better.
Best wishes, and I hope you all have less to complain about, more to be happy about, and a great year in 2008!!!
To be added to or removed from my e-mail list, respond to:
Chris Lund at reinvestorsfl@aol.com and let me know your wishes.
One of my goals for 2008 is to increase my readership. If you like receiving ‘The Lund Letters’, and you know someone else that might enjoy them, just have them drop me their e-mail address and I will add them to my list. I promise to never sell contact information, and readers can be removed from the list on request at any time. Thank you!
P.S. – I am not sure how long it will last, but attached below is a URL on ‘Making A Difference’. It is neat, and touching, and I thought you might enjoy it. If you can’t click into it, then it might work to cut and paste it into your browser.
http://tinyurl.com/2zesmp
1 comment:
In the short time that John and I have been married, one big thing I've learned is exactly what you mentioned in this blog.
Unfailingly, your spouse will treat you with the same respect and kindness that you treat them. Or the same lack of it! It all goes back to that saying, 'treat others how you want to be treated'. Of course, SOMEONE has to initiate it! You are absolutely correct that it is all too easy to fall into the same old lazy pattern of mediocrity.
You've made a good point, brother! That really IS something I can apply to all areas of my life.
I've been complaining about some bologna sandwiches of my own.
Thanks for the little reminder that I'm the one making those sandwiches!
Love, Allison
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